Now I'm curious how different the answers would be if I'd phrased the question as "If you could be someone else for a day, and had the opportunity to, would you fuck yourself?"
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@alice Absolutely not! 🤮
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@benjamincox can I ask why not?
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@alice Bear in mind that I have possibly the worst opinion of myself of anyone. But the years of negligence, a general disregard to my physical appearance and the fact that I possess all the latent eroticism of a dead fish makes me feel that I am frankly unshaggable at this point. Frankly, I’m still bemused as to how my late wife could stomach it.
@alice ha! yes, every single way geometrically and logistically possible lol
@alice You know, I don't think I would, except /maybe/ once for Science!.
I've never really understood why anyone would find _me_ attractive, physically or otherwise. On one hand, I'm clearly being cruel to myself here, because other people _have_ (other than my wife, even) but I still don't grok how or why. Note that I'm cishet male and don't find men in general sexually attractive... though betimes I've been propositioned by gay men, so.
Yay for mental baggage and social anxiety, I guess.
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@alice I was overwhelmed with the survey because my brain was like “I’m not hetero but I’m cis” and couldn’t figure out if the question simply wasn’t about me.
But this latest question I can answer yes. Even if I was me (like a clone) my answer would still be yes. I just think she/me and I would be very compatible. Wouldn’t have to say much 😁
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@stephaniepixie @alice my understanding is that cishet means cis & het.
Thus, non-cishet would mean:
~(cis && het)
AKA "not (cis and het)"
which via DeMorgan's laws would be equivalent to:
~cis || ~het
AKA "(not cis) or (not het)"
So you only need to satisfy one or the other to be non-cishet.
(Don't ask me why I pulled out Boolean Algebra to answer a question about Queer identity. This is Mastodon, so of course I had to haha)
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@alice @stephaniepixie who knew my Discrete Structures CS class would be helping me make assessments about gender and sexuality in a thread about fucking yourself
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@riverpunk @alice @stephaniepixie strange, usually discreet math isn't useful for a degenerate case
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@joshsusser @riverpunk @alice @stephaniepixie the funny thing is that Boolean logic is binary, while this whole ass conversation is anything but that
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@alice No.
I'll also answer another question: if you had an Aperture Science portal gun (or other method of folding space), would you give yourself oral sex? Also, no, but I probably would have as a teenager, also I'd probably use it instead of a toilet, just open a portal to Jupiter (at the appropriate altitude to normalise the air pressure) and relieve myself into it.
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> if you had an Aperture Science portal gun (or other method of folding space), would you give yourself oral sex?
Absolutely yes, but it'd escalate quickly from there 😅
@alice my answer would still be no
@alice being Sapphic …
@alice absolutely, because as people are sometimes delighted to discover, I am fun. :)
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@alice but if someone had asked me that 10 years ago, the answer would have different
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@grrrr_shark I'm glad you found your sexy 😊
@alice Ma’am this requires two therapy sessions
@alice non-cishet masc - yes:
no i probably wouldn't fuck myself
too far from my type to desire myself sexually, but i can still enjoy being myself in sexual fantasies/situations
@alice I wouldn't. I'm gross.
I'm blessed my wife doesn't agree.
@alice my answer would change. I answered yes, but I probably wouldn't fuck myself, because I'm just not really compatible with myself sex-wise. And I'm just not into sex that's not good for either party. Unless "being someone else" would also change some of my sexual preferences (in the right way), then I would fuck myself
(Realistically speaking I probably would fuck myself either way, just because it's a once in a lifetime chance and would make a good story 🤷)
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@Larymir I avoided words like clone and the like, because that just begs Fedi folx to go down rabbit holes, and the important part of the question is what you feel, not some sci-fi mechanic.
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@alice yeah, I think it's impossible to find a wording that works for everybody
I would expect my clone to still be incompatible with my sex-wise
For me the "best" wording for essentially the same question as in your poll would have been "what if there was a clone of you, but you were not able to notice, that this person looks (and moves and speaks etc) like you, would you think "I'd fuck them" when meeting them?"
But I'm sure other people would have different issues with that scenario
@alice I picked "I'm nonbinary; yes" so might be a bit biased but my question is, and maybe I'm just naive but I can't understand how you can expect someone else to want to be with one when one doesn't want to be with oneself?
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@jwdt @gabriel @alice This, I find. One may not be their own type, but it's possible they are someone else's. Some traditionally masc or fem features may not work for those that are not attracted to such things, but they could be important to someone else.
Also, I wouldn't want to forget that some may not feel attraction to physical presentation much at all (I sadly forget the term), but the other kind of things that make a person, the more mental side. Maybe they'd be with themselves in that regard? Alice's alternative question phrasing would have accounted for that angle, I do suppose.
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@fargate I think you might be looking for "demisexual" or another similar term. Though even for those that are asexual, demisexual, etc that doesn't *always* mean they don't find folx attractive.
For instance, this whole poll was inspired by a post by an asexual woman about finding yourself sexy.
@alice
If I were someone else then who would be me?
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@alice Yes, 'I'm too sexy for my hand'
—>> I'm Too Sexy <<—
- Right Said Fred -
>> 2007 Mix
#RightSaidFred #Music #MusicTrack
#Musik #Musica #Musique #MusicVideo
#YT: https://youtu.be/OxZp4VEopcE
❌🍪YT: https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/OxZp4VEopcE
#YTM: https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=OxZp4VEopcE
#Wiki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Right_Said_Fred
@alice
My demi-ness says a day is too short to become interested in anyone. I need weeks at best.
@alice yes.
When I dress as I like I want to be as sexy as possible to the eyes of the others, with my personal taste. And the persons I like to fuck most are the ones that dress like me.
So if I'd be someone else, I would like to be and fuck... me.
(Trying to explain the best what I have in my mind 🤓)
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@natasha I think we're on the same page there. I try to look like someone I'd be attracted to...because I find that aesthetic¹ attractive. I feel like I pull that look off, and hence, I'd fuck myself.
¹ specifically androgynous-to-femme nonbinary pastel glitter-punk tomboy with a lock fetish.
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@alice and let's not forget some fluffy bunny experiments 😜
@alice There was a similar question on a purity test when I was a teenager, and everyone was really freaked out by me saying yes 😕
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@UnconventionalEmma that's a weird thing to put on a purity test...unless you're trying to shame queer folx.
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@alice ‘Twaz a very long time ago.
@alice@lgbtqia.space It's research, I gotta do a test run.
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@PortableDoughnut maybe a few—for reproducibility's sake.
@alexadeswift really? Oh my, I'd do it in a heartbeat... well, hopefully it'd take longer than that, but you get my drift.
@alice is there a negative scale?
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@alice within a heartbeat. It was weird first when realised but amongst male presenting people, I am my type. 💁♂️
@alice days too short, would like to get to know, form an emotional connection, trust etc. Not sure that kinda works with self? I need the wonder of discovering the other person.
This is kinda like a sci-fi body swap story.
If I could be an entirely new person, that is, not a swap.... This is where it gets dark...
If my transfer leaves behind my chronic illness... I'd kill my original body so I never had to swap back.
So, no I wouldn't fuck myself.
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@pewnack that did get dark quickly 😅
"Runnin' up that hill,
@alice I'd date myself, I think I'm really attractive. Fuck myself? As myself, maybe; as someone else, no
But also demisexual so
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@alice No I would not. Instead, I'd step into my blue phone booth, and enjoy the bigger inside, by myself, and explore the universe.
@alice I'd be more likely to as me probably
![Aria.DNE [grim]](https://cdn2.miau.pub/accounts/avatars/113/931/662/325/016/821/original/0a6006691d1e9076.jpg "Aria.DNE [grim]")
@alice That's going to be a yes again.
@alice Hell, no! I’m deeply surprised anyone ever has. I’m ugly, (now) tubby, and a lot of work either in a relationship or merely to interest in a hook-up. Who the fuck wants me‽
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@IanAMartin assuming your profile photo is of you, you don't seem unattractive to me (and I like to think I have fairly discerning taste) 🤷🏼♀️
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@alice It is me. Thank you, you’re very kind.
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@alice @IanAMartin can only agree with Alice
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@grrrr_shark @IanAMartin see? There ya have it 💁🏼♀️
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@alice …Well, if I were someone else I wouldn't be *me*, would I? It feels a bit like a cop-out answer, but I really can't say what decisions I'd make if I suddenly had a whole different brain chemistry to deal with.
(There's not nearly enough fiction that addresses that sort of thing. I guess neurotypical people don't really think much about how *physical* their brains are? But insofar as our minds are intangible, that "software" is still affected by the "hardware" it runs on…)
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@pandabutter I would've said a copy of yourself, a clone, and alternate reality version of you, etc, but any wording I used would invite some percentage of people to be like "well that changes everything" 😋
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@alice @pandabutter This brings to mind the old Isaac Asimov song, to be sung to the tune of Home on the Range:
Oh give me a clone
Of my own blood and bone
With the Y chromosome turned to X
And when we're alone
Me and my little clone
We will both think of nothing but sex.
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@AdaraAstin I'd want one of each viable chromosomal permutation, so I could compare and contrast 💁🏼♀️
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@alice
Ehm... honestly? That is an interesting question. Wow. I think I might not, but now I have to think about why I wouldn't and if I could do anything different to make me more want to fuck myself.
That is one kind of self-reflection I want and also don't want to talk to my therapist about. 😅
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@momo I asked my (very cishet) mom a (watered down) version of this question, and she was like "eww, no".
Apparently she likes penises, and body hair, and boy-smell, and such.
Though she shaves her body, wears makeup and perfume, and dresses feminine.
And it blew my mind that you'd want to make yourself less attractive to yourself.
I mean, I haven't always found myself attractive, even though I know a lot of other folx did, but I've always worked to make myself more attractive *to me*. It took a lot of unlearning toxic shit, but now that I can find myself attractive, I *wish* I'd gotten here so much sooner.
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@momo @alice haha, that's the reason I (not a man) used to use men's deodorant: it smells good to me (which probably isn't by accident: I'm the target group since I'm (also) attracted to men). And I want to smell good!
(Then there are also things that are hot on other people but just not my style. But I'm also already hot enough without those things)
@alice
Okay, then I should bring this up with my therapist, because this could lead to self-caring behavior and he is a very big fan of his depression patients actively self-care, taking breaks, doing stuff just for themselves (like taking a long bath instead of a quick shower)...
Thank you for planting that idea in my head. 🥰
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@momo you're quite welcome, and I agree with your therapist; finding small joys and moments of self care wherever you can is how you train yourself to look back on a day and focus on the things that made it better, rather than the ones that made it worse.
There will always be horrors in the world, and you can't solve most of them, but you can enjoy your bath, and that's something.
For instance, I'm going to go to bed tonight knowing I did my best to help two suicidal people fell less alone. If that makes their day more bearable, then it was time well-spent. And now for some self-care, I'm going to try to beat a boss fight in Silk Song. If that doesn't work, I'm going to enjoy some warm bread and soup.
@alice I would never
@alice that's not a rephrasing though. That's a different question.
