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@alice That moment when a whole world suddenly opens up to you that you have never perceived before, only to realise that it has always been there and has always affected other people's lives profoundly on a daily basis. It's an eery feeling. It's disturbing–albeit eye-opening– to find out how narrow-minded and ignorant I was about something very real and very important. I wish that experience upon everyone.

@alice i tell a similar story about coming to terms with being trans. as a white lady it was revelatory. i knew plenty about transphobia already, but it was a whole other thing when you start reflecting how it will directly affect you. every transphobic or cisnormative thing people say sticks out at you. you start making mental notes of how unsafe people around you are. all of this was years before the media started paying attention to us - the constant demonization kind of attention

@alice
Hmm... it's just possible U may want to upgrade to a Ford Mustang or Dodge Charger -- U'r definitely lacking SPICE-in-Ur-life❗️😃

@alice I totally bear with you here.
I completely understand that subjects so far as lactose intolerance and a car model can be related because I do it all the time and no one follows me, not even my latest therapist.

@alice
Yeah, my kids are POC. When I tell some of my fellow humans about the racial struggles my minions have had in a predominantly white neighbourhood.

They honestly thought, they were better than it. Highlighting it in their own backyard has created some enemies and some who wanted significant change.

Keep at it. Keep pushing, keep killing it.

@alice It's a matter of viewpoint. As a white person, I don't attract racism against blacks. I only see it when I happen to cross paths with a black person at just the right time to see it directed at them. That black person, though, sees it EVERY TIME it's directed at them. We're both seeing the same world, but from two radically different viewpoints due to our different skin colors. Too many people don't take that into account.

@alice how can people not see? What kind of glorified safe space bubble do they drift through life in?
I was literally composing a post about how the bad was getting worse when I read this.
I should probably just go to bed now.

@alice this is a really excellent vignette.. good writing!

@alice Oh my Godlessnes, this is horrible ☹️ I've only been recently introduced to the notion of "minority stress" so I'm everything but an expert in this, but this seems to be part of it.
So, I just want to throw in a few encouraging words. I've been following you here for a while, and not only do I think that you are valid in every aspect of you that you are showing or telling about here... I also love your posts, be they about your interests, or NSFW content, or about politics.
Plus, you're among the people online who help me get a glimpse of that better part of the USA population that hasn't gone Trumpist, and frankly this is so good for my mental health and my trust in humanity.
So I'm sending love and support and I wish you the best!

@alice and even if you don't see it, it doesn't take that much awareness to understand that (a) you don't see everything here, and (b) "I don't see stuff like that" is a really unhelpful comment.

Just to be explicit, that post was about how all the institutionalized/everyday/inherent sexism, racism, homophobia, bigotry, etc. is invisible to most folx until it directly impacts them.

Just like I don't see 99% of the racism that #BlackMastodon does until someone points an example out to me, and just like I would've told you that I don't know anyone who drives a red Ford Focus until I started driving one myself.

It's fucking everywhere...

And to those it affects, it's just the background noise of existing while black/queer/femme/disabled/neurodivergent, and so on.

@alice

I don't see a lot of the bad stuff, not because I skip over it, but because I have blocked with abandon.

I'm not saying this to tell others to block like me (I did it to excess actually), but to explain to those who do not see the bad posts that there might be a reason they don't see them. Not everyone here has the same experience. Also, different instances might block whole other instances.

So, when someone says they are being harassed, believe them the first time they say it.